Tuesday, January 16, 2007

New Year, New Apartment, Same Old Existential Quagmire

I've finally done it-- I have a private apartment with hardwood floors and my rent is paid. This may not be a milestone for other folk; others look at buying their first house or getting married as a momentous occasion. Considering that I plan on staying firmly enfolded in the abusive arms of academia for the rest of my natural life, this is very likely the best I will ever do. My cable magically works without a box and I'm not paying for it, the telephone has a dial-tone, and there are french doors between the living room and the dining room come library which are only missing two panes of glass.

Moving was a hurculean effort which I have no desire to revisit-- let us merely say that I have a few wonderful friends. On the topic of friends, let's provide some pen names for them. Firstly, my best friend, Hello Baby. This is also the main lyric of her internationally-recognized theme song by Ursula 1000. Some have speculated that Hello Baby is part Veela, and that is what has men falling lapping tongue over tea kettle to open doors for her. Regardless of her physical charms, she is a charming, intelligent, wonderful friend. Secondly, our mutual friend, Raw/Regal, a prominent figure both on campus and at the bar. Raw/Regal and I have a somewhat contentious history, but have of late (barring the intereference of individuals not yet mentioned and recently graduated) come to a close understanding. She is also playing host to a crew of pirates, two of them principally-- Flaxen-Hair and Jolly Roger. These two gentlemen of fortune are a basically inseperable pair, mostly traveling with their canine, Gator. Lastly (for the time being) we have Snow White, my dearly devoted friend who, when you really need her, when you're to the wall and you've got to move 12 milk crates of books to your second-floor apartment, she's there and plans to stay until not only the books are up, but the clothes and dishes as well. She's also the most loyal girl I've ever met.

That said, Snow White helped with the move every step of the way. My landlord, a biology professor on campus, is notoriously hard to reach, and I finally tracked her down the morning of the great move, nabbing the new keys at around 11 am. Snow White met me with a crock pot in which to make chili (did I mention she is a newly-minted militant vegetarian?) and her tool box, should we need it. Despite their honest intentions, Hello Baby and Raw/Regal did not arrive on the scene until almost 2 pm. We'd all gone to the hockey game the night before, but while I had returned to my former habitation to pack up my material possessions, they dicided that a fifth of vodka each sounded like a good idea. Now, we're all seasoned drinkers up here in the frozen north, but still... When they finally did appear, there was no doubt that they were still drink. Giggly-drunk. Ridiculously drunk, actually, and I really should have just sent them home, but my back was already beginning to ache as a result of the aforementioned book-filled milk crates. The two of them managed to move most everything else that I own to the new place, and several things that I didn't own, like frozen brownies, towels, laundry detergent, magnets, coupons, and an onion. Thank you, Ladies. They also violated the fourth ammendment by opening some other people's mail, but let's just forget about that.

I spent the first night in my new place on Saturday night. I would like to be able to say that I'm a real adult and am comfortable being alone, but it's not true. No, I'm a big chicken. I made Hello Baby stay the night with me. It's an old house, very creaky, and the wind was blowing. All of my powers of rationalization were not enough to keep me from yelping every time one of the pipes popped or the floor squeaked. I had confined myself mainly to the bedroom and continued unpacking until a bag tipped over in one of the front rooms. I honestly screamed and dove under my covers, which is where I stayed-- shivering all the while-- until Hello Baby rescued me from myself. She's pretty great like that.

Since then, I've been fine. Unpacking is a gradual process, but it's moving along. I discovered that I have cable which I'm not paying for, and this is indeed a blessing. 90 channels of indulgence? Yes please. It's a fine distraction. I still need to figure out how to acquire the internet in the apartment, but I'm planning on making brownies later and trotting them down to the two boys who live in the downstairs apartment. They're both Fisheries and Wildlife Science majors, and I'm wondering if they'd be willing to run a line up to my place if I chipped in $10 a month? We'll see.

I've come to the conclusion, after laying on my couch and listening to no fewer than three faucets drip in almost-unison, that I miss living with someone. Almost anyone, really. I don't particularly need a boyfriend at this stage of the game, but having someone around to fix things like the faucets or find the replacement lightbulb or eat the rest of the gulosh I made today would be nice. Just someone else, someone's thoughts other than my own. A good guy to share a roof with-- wouldn't that be nice? I'd split the grocery bill and he'd hand me my water glass when I'm all cozied in to my chair and I've left it on the coffee table.

I need another beating heart in my abode.

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