Grading

So, my film students (all 8 billion of them) had their first assessment due yesterday my 3pm. It's a shot-by-shot analysis of a scene of their choice from one of the films we've screened thus far on the course. Simple? Absolutely. Straight-forward? Couldn't be more so. Or so I thought...

Where did I go wrong? I read the handout to them in class, pulled it up on the computer and projected in front of them, showed them where it was on the website. I begged them to email me if they had questions. I brought it up ever class for three weeks. How did they still manage to cock it up?

They were supposed to submit a chart of the shot breakdown and then 2-3 pages of analysis in paragraph form with complete sentences. The interpretations of "chart" are truly awe-inspiring. And half of them just didn't do one. Turned in the analysis without a chart or list of bullet points or ANYTHING.

*FACE/PALM.

Cinema: Quantum of Solace

Right, so the time has come for a bit of an embarrassing confession: I enjoy the Bond movies.

*sighs*

Yes, it's true. The humble and ram-shamble author of the modern feminist partakes in liberal doses of ridiculous testosterone, minimal plot, fast cars and faster women, chiseled men and stilted dialogue. From my youth, I can remember the seemingly endless marathons on cable television of View to a Kill, Octopussy, Goldfinger and Thunderball. Oh, yes. Roger Moore was my mother's favorite, until she remembered Timothy Dalton (like anyone else remembers him, let's be honest). Sean Connery seemed like the essence of everything suave and cool in the universe to me at the age of 8 (just for reference, Cary Grant was the essence of everything romantic and wonderful in the universe-- catch me on the right night and this might still be true). Dad liked the cars and the gadgets and the guns (at least, I think he did-- it's not like he spoke from his recliner in the living room, so who knows) and my brother and I would run around the yard later pretending to be assassins. Good, wholesome fun.

Now, with this out of the way, let's talk about the latest installment: Quantum of Solace. I'll confess to have been hesitant about Craig at first, just like everyone else. A blonde Bond? I wasn't sure. Casino Royale counted as a good movie in my book, but a good Bond film? There were moments of genuine tenderness, and I wasn't sure how this was going to wear in a tradition with such touchstones as Diamonds Are Forever. Still, as time trudged on, I like it more and more. And who would have guessed, slightly bloodied and sardonic men are wildly sexy regardless of follicle pigment.

A while before going to see the film, I was exposed to the theme. Now, being a good Michigander, I have great affection for the White Stripes and Jack White, but I just wasn't sure. In fact, I fairly hated it the first time I heard it. However, I listened to it again, and then I found myself wanting to listen to it yet again. Long story short, it grew on me in an astoundingly short time, and now I quite fancy it. Something about "a man on your side/ a person that you trust/ is just/ another way to die" that really appeals to me. And it's got a great beat to pump into your ears as you stride down the street. Try it, I dare you. You'll feel like a badass, I promise.

So, I went to see the film, and I'll tell you, it was worth it. Technically, it's a lovely film to watch, the production values are astronomically high. It's beautiful. And all the different locations sure as hell doesn't hurt. The scoring is fantastic. I'll go out on a limb and say it's the best score yet (specifically for this beautiful little bit they do with Tosca-- don't want to spoil it for you it you haven't yet seen it, but it's fantastically done). My tender ears make me hypersensitive to movie scores (not that you have to be, the levels they play the movies at nowadays will rattle your fillings) and this one is particularly effective. Subtle, that's not what one usually associates with Bond, but in the score, it scores.

As far as all this criticism over a loose and rolling plot, the stretches without dialogue, the departures from the original short story-- shove off. I mean, really, what did you expect? It's a Bond film. Seriously-- You Only Live Twice. 'Nuff said. What one should look for are girls (this one has two), gadgets (a bit thin on Bond, but check out the office and M's comm skills, that's madly interactive) and chase scenes. This one converts in all three mediums of chase-- car, boat and plane. Check, please.

Daniel Craig is lightly bleeding within the first minute of the movie. That's what I'm talking about.

Some of my friends in real time have said that it feels like the middle movie in a trilogy. Fair enough. I personally just think it did a fine job of tying up loose Vespa ends. Well done.

And really, this is all that I wanted:

Thank you, Mr. Bond. Shall we do this again in a few years? Oh, yes, please!

So cute it hurts...

So, I finally broke down and went to the movies. Yes, that's right-- Miss Melville went on an outing to the talkies. Only this one didn't have so much talking as beeping and whistling. Are you catching on yet?

A dear friend thought is might have been too much beeping, what with my supersonic hearing and all, but I'm happy to report (despite the deafening volume of cinema sound systems nowadays-- seriously, does it have to be that loud?) that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Well, all except the part where they showed the trailer for High School Musical 3. That's just gross and wrong.

Anyways, as I'm sure you have probably guessed, I went to see Wall-E, and it was everything I wanted from Pixar-- cute, visually engaging, wholesome, a bit tongue in cheek, packed with little side-jokes, and chockabock environmentalist propaganda. *sighs contentedly*

He's just so damn cute! I know, I know, robots with personality are generally a bad idea [see: Hal] but this one goes about collecting little things he finds interesting and generally being constructive and cleaning up the earth which has been abandoned by its consumeristic human infestation, who have fled to space to escape their own waste. (Read that last line out loud, it so totally inadvertently rhymes!)

There are some other key members of this little robot cast who deserve a shout-out-- Eve, the pretty girl robot who helps Wall-E live out his Hello, Dolly! hand-holding fantasy, and Mo, also voiced by Ben Burtt who did sound design for the Star Wars movies and a bit of Indiana Jones as well. Non-robots who retain loveable status is basically limited to Wall-E's pet cockroach, who first bridges the gap between Wall-E and Eve, like all good pets do.

While I'm always an advocate for staying in your seat through ALL of the credits (for various reasons-- first of all, show some respect. Those best boys and third set lighting men and women worked hard on this movie, so have the decency to watch as their names blip past on the screen, it's literally the least you can do. Secondly, movie tickets cost so damn much nowadays, I'm going to make it last for as long as humanly possible. Third, there might be a little something at the end! Made all the difference in that last X-Men movie, now didn't it!) it's especially important for this one. With the clever use of art history, the viewer gets a glimpse of the recolonization effort and the reaclimation of mankind. From cave paintings to mosaics to oils, these credits have it all! Plus, the track from Peter Gabriel doesn't hurt. ;)

All in all, I give it the full five corroded and personable robots.